Dar-lings. Please, DON'T read so loud! Ugh. La Diva is hungover. Not the dreaded "sick-to-my-stomach-puking-my-guts-out-hugging-the-porcelain-princess-with-the-throbbing-cranium-crushing-headache-from-hell-can't-get-out-of-bed-hang-over," but the "I-can't-see-straight-need-something-greasy-to-eat-and-need-it-RIGHT-NOW-and-in-copious-amounts-before-I-can-even-think-of-doing-ANYTHING!" kind of hangover!
Last night La Diva had a lot of fun as my wonderfully generous neighbors aka "the usual suspects," had a lovely bay side birthday bbq with lots and lots of wine and yummy grilled delights! So, of course, today I'm paying the price.
When I feel hungover and like I've not eaten in days and need to eat like a chain gang prisoner, one of my favorite meals is my Hangover Helper! Here's what I do:
1. Take one potato, quarter and nuke until just soft. Yes, a potato. It is vital and La Diva truly believes it helps soak up all that nas-tay al-kee-hol. (when I'm hung over, EVERY second counts until I get grub, so nuke away darlings!) Meanwhile, heat a fry pan with olive oil and cook the potatoes, browning on each side.
2. Stop and try to remember what stupid stuff you said last night and contemplate NEVER, EVER drinking again.
3. Get any kind of greasy (or not) protein from the fridge. Some suggestions: leftover sausage, ham, steak, lunch meat, tofu, chicken, turkey, hamburgers. This morning, I used some left over andouille AND Italian sausage slices. I quartered them and added them to the potatoes and gave a quick sprinkle of hot pepper flakes. Continue browning.
4. Take alka seltzer. Drink it FAST!
5. Now, get any veggies from the fridge you can find: mushrooms, spinach, green onions, broccoli, zucchini, etc. I had some leftover sauteed red chard. Dump it into the mix and saute until cooked or heated through.
5. I mean 6. (Christ, you expect me to COUNT in this condition?!) Put toast in toaster and spread with loads of REAL butter (margarine just WON'T do!)
7. Skull HUGE glass of water.
8. Make coffee. Preferably strong Italian coffee not insipid pre-ground drip coffee.
9. Beat two eggs in a bowl with a bit of water. Add to the pan.
10. Stop, put down spatula and lean on counter with head in hands until you stop shaking. Slowly lift head while you see 'stars', steady yourself, pick up spatula and continue.
11. Now, one last trip to the fridge: Find some kind of cheese. Maybe swiss, cheddar, American, fontina, hell, even Velveeta! Use any kind of cheese that would melt all nice and gooey and add some greasiness and flavor.
12. Look in cupboard for vodka to make a rejuvenating Bloody Mary. Damn. Vodka bottle empty. Sigh and continue cooking.
13. Scramble together until eggs are no longer runny and cheese is melted. Pile high onto a plate with the buttered toast, salt generously and if you like, add ketchup or hot sauce. EAT! (but do it quietly, please!)
Result: Mmmm.....eggy-starchy-meaty-greasy-gooey-cheese-y-goodness as I eat it like I've just worked in a coal mine for 12 hours. Yum......leave dishes, lay on couch with a pitcher of water and watch daytime soaps you've not seen since you were 14 and on summer school holidays.
Darlings, La Diva would LOVE to know what you eat when you're hung over? DO TELL, La Diva can't wait to hear from you! Buh-bye now!