La Diva was near death....again and again and again....

Darlings, recently some of my blogger buddies posted those dreadful questions that really lead to nowhere:

  • Ever been arrested?
  • Ever kissed someone you don't like?
  • Vanilla or chocolate?

And on and on and on....

La Diva doesn't really participate in those memes as I find them to be highly incriminating (hehe!) and inane.

And do you really know anything more about the person? The bloggers that participated all sound so nice and good. (Unlike La Diva)

However, one question really got me thinking:

Had a close brush with death (your own)?

When I told my blogging bud Boxer that La Diva has had numerous near death experiences, she asked me to post them. I thought about it and even though this blog is primarily about food, friends and fabulousness, I decided, what the hell, my stories make some pretty good reading and DEATH and DANGER is always such fascinating subject matter.

And, it's MY blog and I can post what I damn well please!

So, here they are, La Diva's near death experiences:

1. When I was a toddler, I was very sick with pneumonia and had to be hospitalized and put in an oxygen tent for a week so I could breathe.

2. Drank bleach, back to hospital.

3. My friend Mariette and I got caught between two buildings between the street and the alley. The building was our favorite store that sold penny candy and was on a very busy street (the infamous 8 mile in Detroit.) The space between the buildings was very narrow and I was such a tiny girl, we thought we could squeeze through and make it to the rear. I didn't almost die but I got stuck halfway through, freaked out and then managed, somehow, to finally get out! I was five. (and now very claustrophobic in small spaces!)

4. After getting into a fight with my first husband while snorkeling way out from shore in Queensland, Australia, he got angry and swam away while I stayed and continued to snorkel with strangers. Hmpf. I wasn't about to stop having fun just cuz he was being pissy!

The last snorkeler swam away and then I found I was alone (and loving it) when I saw something big moving towards me in the shadows. I freaked and started to swim away with the big something behind me. I would not look back to see what it was and swam like hell.

Fast even strokes, fast even strokes, don't look back!!! I could not look behind me to see when it stopped chasing me. Ok, I guess if it really wanted me, it would have caught me! Maybe it wasn't chasing me but just was curious? I'll never know but the valuable lesson was never snorkel, dive or swim alone!

This photo reminds La Diva of the time she drove by herself up to Queensland from Sydney to visit a boy, a good twelve hour drive. Of course, when La Diva consulted her trusty map, she noticed she could take a scenic drive through the mountains instead of the more "safe" coastal highway that was sure to have more heavy traffic.

Naturally, the map never indicated anything about the falling rock, the winding roads without guardrails or that you couldn't stop once you got on the "road." La Diva was also unaware that her muffler was broken in half and hanging off the back of her car, half of it up against the bottom of her trunk melting the make up that was in a case just above the muffler.

That drive was treacherous and not relaxing at all, La Diva was white-knuckling it for three hours straight! If anything had happened and my car broke down I would have been SOL!

5. When I first moved to Australia, I was driving at night in the rain on two-way highway and, thinking it was a one-way highway, I ended up driving the wrong way in the lane and had a near-miss head-on with a truck.

6. After a concert at the Metro in downtown Sydney, impatient me started running across a busy six lane road just as light turned from red to green. There was a cab zooming up the inside lane that did not see me and just ticked the back heel of my foot as I leaped with all my strength like a gazelle onto the curb, heart pounding.

7. While in the country visiting a friend's farm in Australia, my pals and I were walking at the top of a cliff with several layers of rock bed and the river below. La Diva was wearing cowboy boots. I slipped and fell off the cliff and was airborne for over fifteen feet. I landed on the next level below on my feet like a cat while the color drained from my friend's faces. The lesson here is never hike on rock wearing cowboy boots, no matter how fabulous they are.

8. La Diva was swimming at an isolated beach on the Hawai'ian island of Oahu with my first husband and at that time was not used to swimming in the ocean when I noticed three very large waves coming in. I don't know if you realize how big waves can get in Hawai'i and I would not fathom to tell you how big they were. Let's just say I saw them coming in huge and fast and knew we were in trouble.

I tried to go under them but they were too strong and I got tossed like a little shell. I had just enough time to come up for air after the first two and the last huge kahuna dumped me violently on the beach, my head a half a foot away from the rocks, out of breath, heart pounding like a little bird's.

9. Not sure if this is near death but it was pretty dangerous and could have ended much worse: La Diva pulled into a Walgreens parking lot the same time as a car full of young guys and they were going for the same parking space but I got there first. As I walked across the parking lot towards the store, I felt the hairs raise on my arms, with a sense that something was not right.

When I returned to my car, I had found they had broken the windshield wipers off my car out of spite. I found their car parked down a side street (spineless punks!) and being the logical person I am, took a crowbar and knocked off their side mirror while still sitting in my car. Just then, they all came running back to see me and one punched me in the face through my window but didn't really connect.

We then proceeded to engage in a crazy car chase around the north side of Chicago with La Diva maneuvering the car like Steve McQueen (I am from Detroit, after all!) I was in my early 20's, driving my boyfriend's Dodge with a V8 and with the right side door bashed in. It was like something out of a movie.

Thank God police saw the fracas and pulled us over and I "got away." But when cop found out one of the guys had hit me, he wanted me to prosecute, I didn't. I just wanted to get home as fast as I could. After driving back home as quickly as possible and putting my car safely hidden in the back of the building, La Diva then collapsed on the back porch from a fading adrenaline rush! I was a tough skinny little white girl. Still am. (not as skinny though!)

Now then, just be lucky YOU don't have a daredevil daughter like La Diva! Do YOU have any near death experiences that you'd like to share? La Diva would LOVE to hear them! Ciao!cooking class, cocktails, parties, cocktail party, Miami, coral gables, events, bartending class, cocktail class, Laura Lafata, Miami Beach, miami cooking classes, bachelorette parties, bachelorette party


Boxer said...

I once took sparring lessons and didn't wear my mouth guard.

yah, I told you, I've led a sheltered life, but I think you get the award for living life very LARGE and exotic. Your near dear experiences have happened all over the world.

One of my worst fears? That picture you have of the car on the edge of the mountain road going straight DOWN. *shudder* I can't look at it.

Great post.

LaDivaCucina said...

Thanks Boxer. Of course I remembered another near miss....another post for another time!

LaDivaCucina said...

Oh yeah, the road I was on in the mountains was not even wide enough for two cars, it was just a bit wider than my car......aaaaaahhhh!

Buzz Kill said...

You said you can't really learn anything from these MEMEs. Well. I learned that your 1st husband was unlucky to be around and that Australia is a dangerous place.

I haven't had near as many near-death experiences as you. Although you could count everytime I get in a car that the Mrs is driving - I've seen my life flash in front of me so many times it could end up as reruns on TV Land. I have been shot at (warning shot over my head by an irate farmer who thought I was hunting too close to his land) and was in a motorcycle accident where I flew 20 feet over the hood of some lady's car (broke my colar bone when I landed).

See, this was entertaining - wasn't it?

IndypendentOne said...

You've had some wild adventures there La Diva! Glad you made it out of all those experiences. Sad to say my life is pretty darn boring :(

thombeau said...

Frankly, I'm surprised that there aren't more incidents from Chicago on your list!

And...I hasten to add that you saved my life once! I'll always remember that. LOVE YOU!!!

LaDivaCucina said...

Buzzkill, I think you learn about me cuz I'm so darn verbose! You need to elaborate for La Diva!

Independent One, thankfully I seem to keep cheating death and real injury. Maybe it's like the Kennedys, the more you do, the more you risk.

Thom...awwww....I can't think of anything really that happened in Chicago that would qualify, just more silliness! And of course, I'll always be there for you! xx